Things After A Dirty “D”

Published March 26, 2016 by Late Night with Jess

After a divorce things feel very different.  If you were married for more than 2 years, sleeping alone becomes harder for some reason.  I actually had the same problem and still do to this day after 6 years of single life.  I blame me not sleeping good on the face that I have to protect my child if anything happens while we are sleeping.  You know I have to be able to wake up when that leaf falls on the roof because it could land on him while in his bed.  Ok, maybe I’m not that bad.  But I do have to sleep light just encase of a fire or break in.  Don’t be thinking that break ins don’t happen, 35 Years of living in the neighborhood and we had our first car break ins not too long ago and my car was one of them, so now I worry more.  See sounds like a good excuse don’t it?



Now I’ll tell you the real reason as long as you don’t tell anyone. I will deny it if I’m asked.  Ok, take a seat and relax, the story isn’t going to be that long, but relaxing is something everyone needs to do.  Ready?  This is why I truly think I have problem sleeping.  When I was little we had a bad thunderstorm, my baby bed was in the now laundry room of my parents house.  I was asleep, I guess, but there was a boom and there was a whole in wall on fire not 5 feet from me where lightning decided to come inside the house.  I have always had to have a stuffed animal, critter, or person in my bed ever since I can remember after that.  Since married for a while I felt safe while sleeping, even if the marriage was horrible.  That will be a totally different story subject so stay tuned for that.  Ever when my son and I left that relationship behind, it took him from age 3 to 5 before he would sleep in his own bed.  He was going through his own thing and I felt I owed him that.  I mean his parents aren’t living together anymore.   Of course I don’t put up a big fight either.  I slept good!  I really didn’t want things to change, but I knew he was 5 then and he needed to be in his own bed.  That was a little harder than I thought, but eventually he got there.  Now I have this king size bed that is full with oversize pillows and covers that I don’t even use.  It’s been like that for over 3 years now.  I don’t know why, but when someone is sleeping beside me, I can fall asleep and only wake up from time to time.  I guess after years and years of having someone there beside you, your mind expects that all the time.   So I’ll be sleepless in NE Arkansas for a long time.

Another thing that changes after divorce is activities with people who are still married.  I have married couples that I’m friends with and I see them often, but is weird when you bring a guy with you and their husbands always think I’m trying to fix her up with the guy!  I can be hanging all over him yet he’s for her?  You can tell the guilty ones by their actions, just saying.  So I try to stay away from those couples to keep from the drama.

Being divorced and single is a curse to some.  I enjoy it myself, I mean, who wouldn’t want to be in the online dating world?  Speaking online dating!!!  Have you ever noticed some of the people who you message think they should have a beauty queen as a partner?  Is it that they  have their standards up way too high or is it that they just want to brag to their friends?  Love does not see beauty so why even start there?  I mean have you ever been on a blackout date?  You know where you go somewhere and everything inside is so dark that you have to use all of your senses other than sight.  I think that is the best way to see if someone is compatible.  Talk, learn, and listen!  I have said time and again, that relationships are from whom a person is vs. what the person looks like.  Remember looks fade and you have to have something to fall back on or you will be right back where you started, single and looking.  By that time, you yourself won’t look the same!  And when that happens, you will be complaining like I am right now.  Oh and yes, I know there has to be some type of physical attraction, but from my experience once you get to know someone better, the more physically attracted you are to them.  So go on a limb, try getting to know someone before you actually turn them down for once.  The pretty  girls are pretty, but not always smart and if you’re smart not then going for the pretty girls, but remember, two dumb people don’t make a smart couple.  The smart girls may not be pretty to you, but I bet they will at least encourage you to become smarter and I think there are a lot of guys out there that needs to be smarter!

Also, I have noticed since divorced and online dating, Growing old and in the dating scene sucks these days.  Everyone my age looks like they are in their 40+ while I still look like I’m 25+.  I know some has had a hard life, but damn, I would think they would at least take care of themselves a little better!  How hard is it to dye your hair to keep all the grey from showing its face?  Speaking of faces, really guys, what’s up with the duck dynasty beards?  Did we go back into caveman times?  Trim that shit up!!  Most guys, who have them, can’t pull it off at all. (We all know some like that, so go ahead and laugh) Ok, now lets get back to guys my age that looks way older than they are.  Clothing’s, 70’s called and wants to burn the outfit that you have on!! Get with the program, please!  Corduroy is way too hot and way outdated to be wearing on a first date, let alone any time of the year!!  Yes, I like a country man, but the old westerns shirts won’t do it for me.  Blue jeans and a nice T-shirt are Ok.  Hell go to Wal-Mart and buy a shirt there if you don’t have anything nice.  I am sure it will be way better than the outdated stuff in your closet.  Yes, some of the oldies but goodies are coming back, just don’t try to make something that didn’t work then work now!


Check out the original article I wrote here for The Buzz Kill Magazine





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